whats wrong with me

can't belive i can take pictures of does and bucks but when i have my rifle in my hand i know i'm going to shoot i get the damn shakes . at my age your saposed to be mellowed out ,. i shouldn. have buck fever any more,. after putting in so many hours finding the right spot to sit and clearing a shooting lane i was shore i would get a crack at a nice buck,. yesterday the wind was so bad the hole tree house was shakeing tell dark,. it cooled down today and i had the gut feeling he would come to the water hole tonight,. at 4:30 i hadjust sent a text on my phone not paying the attention i should have been, i saw a hole deer pass the water hole and go into theheavy brush but i could see his hole body except for his head,. i got him in the scope and i could see his nose and eyes through the ceadar but not the horns. anyone could have made the mistake of pulling the trigger and ask questions later,. he knew i was there just didn't know where, how did he scent me or did he smell the doe scent,. i will never know now. then it happened the shakes, heart pounded i had him dead to rights but wasn't shore if it were a doe or not . his face and body was telling me it was a buck,. i wanted to comb down before he bolted but it was to late he took off and stopped again on the right in a bunch of young trees,. 50 yards out,. i found a hole and pulled the trigger he took off back the dirrection he came. i thought shore i hit him i was ready when he got to a clear spot and pulled the trigger to only hear it snap. the chamber was 3 quarters closed i couldn't push the bullet in i racked another still it wouldn't close . my shakes were worse now did i hit him . i waited for a bit and then got down and went to see if i could find blood or hair, nothing, i serched for 2 sollid hours in circles , nothing.i was sweating profusly, i hated myself my left eye has a caderac the only excuse i have. the rifle on the other hand has give me trouble before,. twice before the fireing pin froze and just dented the primer now this did i flinch i was on the window cill,. was i shakeing ? yeh,. did i hit a tree . couldn't find the spot,. i will look again at first light,. dambed if i know,. is my blood pressure to high i better check that out to,.

  the other deer i missed was opening day . kick myself in the ass twice,. only this time it was my falt not the gun. opening day and i had my black powder becouse i wanted to kill one with it,. 200 yards nearing dark he came from the swamp i started doing the same thing then. shook like a new hunter on steroids,. he started comming closer and when he was 125 from me i took the shot by the time the smoke cleared the buck was headed for the fence.i was shore i hit him . i waited a while tell almost dark and went out into the tall grass exspecting to see blood, noda, nothing back and forth up and down in and out for two hours in the rain. i went back the next morning and did the same thing,. . this gun is history as of right now i have to take it all apart and find out what going on. when i target practice with it it works great,. i know what your saying buck fever is all. old age is the other,. soon i won't be able to climb the trees or see them at all. and i don't want that to happen . but old age is comming fast bad knees , sore joints, and nerves i never knew i had before,. but theres time left,. what gun will i use next,. i did drop it once this year . i should have shot it after that,.da.

                                              theres that stupid ol man right there.get a life.

                                                   doesn't look safe but sterdy

                                                               don't look down

                                                  almost dark she winded me and ran

 i sapose if i wasn't so dam ugly the deer would come to me more,.

                                                  my lill budy put put

                                            it is hard to believe i have shot a deer on that far left corner just inside the brush

 the sky looked as though it were on fire        this one is sun rise

 this one is sun set

                                                  the one that got away

can it be today i went back to cut some wood and this little fella came running over to me as if he knew me. i started the saw and he jumped up on the log . this is the third time this has happened to me. even when i am hunting. i got to say he is quite a bird. 

this was the wifes jeep  or could be still.

 been cutting wood for the shed this winter and getting some excersise at the same time love it.

rhonda was driveing home from the mall her and bonnie when she struck a deer at 60 mph. needless to say the deer died and the jeep was a mess. the 21st of october.

retirement

i worked as an ingot pit operator for the last 21 years . training many people durring this time. it all began in 1979, after i was laid off from a trucking job. being a vetran helped when i aplied for the job. i was hired on sept, 4th in the pot rooms. cabin changer for 7 years before the strike in 86 took 3 years of my like. durring withch time i took what ever came along. called back in aug. of 89 to the remelt west plant . as a spare helper makeing way less than i did when i left. it was a hole different world up on the hill. cooler for one thing.

retired jan. 1st 2012 after 31 years

at alcoa west plant in massena new york.